An update from me, Nov 2025 and yes that really is my hair!

Onward...

I’ve been running my own consultancy business for over eight years now. Eight years.  In some ways it was all about being my own boss and in other ways it was about distracting myself from my Mum’s death. I can be my own worst enemy.  I have often used work as a way of seeking validation and companionship.  My Mum was always on hand to support and encourage me and without her, I sought it elsewhere.  And so, I have thrown myself into work.  Literally plunged into work to stop me thinking about that huge absence in my life. The chasm, the ache that is constantly there in my chest.  The loss. 

Then Dad died and I didn’t even take a day off work.  I kept going, because after all, ‘it’s what he would have wanted.’  No, Steven, he really wouldn’t have wanted you drowning in work.  Never stopping, marching ever onward, stretching my training legs and reaching parts of the country I never thought I’d venture to, hello Devon and Inverness!  Success brought me financial security and also the ability, if I had chosen to take it to say, ‘no.’  But I never did.  Yes, yes, yes, onward, onward, onward, never looking back.  FORWARD Steven. 

Only something had to give, and eight years is a long time to run away from my feelings, my emotions and envelop myself in something, anything other than the loss of my parents.  So, dear readers, I have had to stop and take stock.  There were no blog posts while I was away, no updates, no checking of emails.  Nothing.  I sought support and now the first time in my life I’m having grief counselling.  I’ve undergone CBT and I’m getting help.  I have a much better understanding of me.  I’m definitely getting there. 

Some of you may ponder, ‘what’s he sharing this for?’  Some people think I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve (Oh imagine if I actually had!  😊) and yes, I have shared my own mental health battles.  I don’t drone on about them. I don’t want people to feel sorry for me.  I accept that my brain gets a bit poorly sometimes and it is just a part of me.  I also accept that if I had opened up and spoken about some of these things before, then maybe, just maybe I wouldn’t have ended up in the state that I was a couple of months ago. 

I’m the luckiest person in the world because I’m surrounded by beautiful, wonderful people, who get it.  They understand grief and sorrow and my need to be certified as ‘Grade A brilliant trainer 24/7, 365 days of the year.’  People like Sarah Miller (recently highlighted in one of my blog posts) who stepped into the breach and said rather calmly, ‘Steven, I’m got this.’  And look at her now, flying high!   I’ve always idolised Sarah and it’s wonderful that we are now working together.  I could list everyone here, but they know who they are and they know I respect them with every fibre of my being. 

Some of the other kind people don’t know me as anything other than Steven the Training Consultant and they still reached out and told me they’d wait until I was better.   And I am better. One day at a time and all that.  I’m just not work-a-holic Steven anymore.  Onward, ever onward, 2026 is just around the corner and I have new adventures ahead.  Yes, lots of work things but also holidays and trips away and a very swanky stay in a fabulous place… I’ll tell you about that nearer to the time. 

And that’s your lot. 

An update from me. 

Yes, I’ve been away for a bit and now I’m back.  I’m back and I’m different and I’m well and I’m taking each day as it comes.  That’s what my parents would have wanted.  Successful Steven doesn’t mean work, work, work, successful Steven means contentment and companionship, love and stability.  How lucky am I, that I have all of that and all I had to do was reach out and it was there.